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What to do about a fear - 7/24/2008 10:37:08 PM
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NightJay0044
Posts: 74
Joined: 5/17/2006
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Hi, has anyone had a fear and didn't know what to do about it? Well, I was wondering if anyone could give their advice on what to do about this particular fear.
Here it is;
I fear of Walking down stairs at a crowded movie theater or like more then a few people, if there's a few people as in 3 it's not bad only when there's more. I'm afraid of falling or not walking right down the stairs or not looking or good or something or being afraid of how you look when you walk down the stairs.
The fear of, walking down the stairs and falling because you think everyone will be looking and then when you come back they'll all look at you goofy or talk about you. It's a problem because I have a really hard time going to the bathroom while in a theater. I'm afraid of getting up and walking to the stairs and go to the bathroom.
It's a simple thing, but it's the a fear I have. If anyone could offer some help would be much grateful. Thanks.
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RE: What to do about a fear - 7/25/2008 9:20:31 PM
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Luvinme
Posts: 59
Joined: 3/5/2008
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Hi NightJay, I just wanted to say that I know exactly what you are saying. I also have a phobia and apparently they are common.
Not a lot of people will admit it. Personally, I believe it is the Devil who is trying to make me look stupid or make me fearful to do simple things so that I will not get ahead with God.
It has to be a spiritual thing as it is your mind playing tricks on you and how you think.
Well, for me what I have learned is that knowledge is power. Our insecurities are letting the devil have room to play with our minds. Educate yourself on phobias - it sounds like you have "specific phobia." There are workbooks that you can buy that can lead you on a better, healthier way of thinking. Also, journalling is great to record your fearful thinking habits and how to change them. I am also told that it is curable with perseverance and lots of homework. My councilor told me to read "Anxiety Disorders" by J. Paul Caldwell which helped me to understand my phobia better, "Social Phobia." Even though I am quite outgoing and like to be social I have stage fright in the simplest situations and because I am so self-conscious I feel there are certain things I just cannot do around people - like eat. It is getting worse as I have creative ways to avoid my fears, but this only makes things worse and more and more I am isolating myself. It is terrible, and I know it sounds simple, but it is extremely difficult for me to overcome my fear. Books I have read explain that situations that are fearful are stored in our memory and our brain does not differentiate these fearful situations from say one we really should be fearful of like an accident or something. Our body reacts in the same way and we shut down in so many ways that debilitate us from functioning properly.
I think somehow I have developed these fears since I feel in a lot of ways I just don't fit in. It stems from from my childhood years and a father that was extremely critical. When I became a Christian, secular crowds became awkward to me and I did not know how to deal with them. Over time, my fears developed to the extremes they are now.
I am so fearful now that Bible Study and things that are good for me are starting to feel too "dangerous" for me. I have all sorts of physical problems just because of the anxieties of being around people. It is terrible and I try desperately not to be afraid.
Anyway, my councilor has said a number of times and I have also read it more than once that we can conquer our fears. It is also Biblical as you know, but it is making our minds really believe it that is the hard part since our mind constantly thinks it is in a fearful situation and goes into "safe mode" when it really isn't a fearful situation.
I read another book, someone here told me to read it. It is called "Who Switched off My Brain" by Caroline Leaf. It claims that our brain has to physically believe something. If our brain already physically believes from a bad memory, but how do we change it. This is where cognitive therapy comes in and lots of it. We have to constantly remind our brain of truth. This is where reading books on the enemy which in our case is phobias and understanding every detail of how the enemy plays with us will give us power. Power is knowledge!! Read God's word passionately. We need to learn not to be insecure anymore and that there is confidence in truth in believing God's word. Over and over again remind yourself. You know how I remembered my times tables when I was a kid, over and over again till it was imbedded in my brain.
Some other books I was told to read:
The Dance of Fear - Harriet Lerner
You Can Be Happy No Matter What - ________ Carlson
There are lots of books on this subject that can even be found at the library. Do lots of research or even councelling. Also, eat healthy, sleep good and exercise really helps a lot.
If you are interested please PM me. I would love to hear your progress!
_____________________________
As a sinner we have to accept that it is not easy to truly touch the will of God unless we have experiences that challenge the depths of our own will to show whose strenght we decide to have faith in to overcome it.
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RE: What to do about a fear - 7/26/2008 2:52:53 PM
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NightJay0044
Posts: 74
Joined: 5/17/2006
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thanks for the reply; yes fear is the source from Satan and not from God, one thing we must first understand and accept before we begin to overcome a fear I think anyways. Or it sounds like so.
Those are some good books and yeah you should always get knowledge on your phobia to overcome it. But I also came across a pretty good article on fear, I've only read a bit of it so far. It's pretty good so far.
Here is the link:
How to hanlde fear
At the beginning it talks about us having not spirit of fear, but a spirit of love, power and discipline which God gave us. 2 timothy 1:7.
So I say we can refer to that in order to conquer our fears, well believing in God and knowing he's not the source of fear, one thing I need to grasp. Let me know what you thought of it if you have time to read part of it.
God bless.
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RE: What to do about a fear - 7/26/2008 10:17:38 PM
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Luvinme
Posts: 59
Joined: 3/5/2008
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Definately will read when I have time. Nice to have someone to relate to.
I have also read books like Bondage Breaker and have found this spiritual understanding helpful.
Thanks and I will keep in touch.
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RE: What to do about a fear - 7/28/2008 7:16:00 PM
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Luvinme
Posts: 59
Joined: 3/5/2008
Status: offline
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Hi Nightjay0044,
I did look over the link you provided, which I think is good; however, with my experience with this stuff, I personally feel it sometimes makes me feel like I fail in my faith with God. In contrary, I actually find that my anxieties tend to draw me closer to Him as I try to understand why my mind works as it does. The problem is finding faith in myself to be confident in my actions. I have to find that confidence and trust how God sees me and all the truths that he says about me. I have to believe in myself and not second guess myself anymore.
I am now into a new workbook that I think would be really good for you if you wouldn't mind understanding your phobia more. From what I read it is key that we understand how we think so that we can change our beliefs about our perceived fears. It is called "The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook" by Edmund J. Bourne and it can be reasonably purchased online. The first chapter is about anxiety disorders and at the end is a questionnaire that guides you to understanding what type of phobia you have.
If you don't do something about it or contact a doctor I am convinced it will be difficult for you to control it and could even get worse, as this has been the case for me. I am finally doing something about it and it is still a process, but so far I sleep better and I recognize my thought patters and at times am much more in control then ever. I am still learning though and I take it like a game, and try to persevere through it.
God tells us to persevere. Persevere builds character and character hope.
Romans 5: 3,4 Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope.
I believe God allows these types of struggles to teach us things about ourselves and God.
Please let me know if you will work on things and how it is coming. I can give you my email and we could share our struggles and what we have learned.
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