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Waiting for the "come get me" signs? - 10/4/2008 12:01:04 PM
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willfs
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I usually (always) only wait until a woman gives the "come get me" signals before I go after her. I will never go after a woman unless I think she has some interest. Now I might go after a "tester" conversation or something like that.
Is this a concern? What about the guys I hear about who are great at "going after a girl"? True, this scenerio usually involves someone like Tom Cruise singing acappella to a woman he just met in an officer's club.
Also, are woman usually patient with us guys actually picking up on these signs. There was a woman I have been interested in for a while but kinda gave up on her showing any sign toward me. Yesterday she seemed to be putting out those signs but I didn't catch it until it might have been to late. I was being cautious not to be overly friendly or anything and didn't catch what she was doing until the very end of our interatcion.
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RE: Waiting for the "come get me" signs? - 10/4/2008 12:35:21 PM
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Jenny-Fair
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If you are interested in a girl, then I don't think you should wait. Especially since being stand-offish is going to keep her from developing interest. She might have to get to know you a little. I am not saying to walk up to any girl you are attracted to and ask her to dinner, but you should make conversation and give her some attention and then you will likely get some signals....in either direction, lol.
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RE: Waiting for the "come get me" signs? - 10/4/2008 6:02:01 PM
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BeautifulFemale
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Frankly, when I'm in situations where the guy is looking all the time and doing nothing...I think that it should be his cue to come up to me without me doing anything to you...if you notice that I caught your eye/saw you in the process. There are too many guys who are cowardly who keep looking and looking and looking...even better still, you should smile at me...make me know where you're going with this...or are you just looking at me just to look at me? I get it alot (looks) and repeatedly from same kind of guys, but many times...the guy just puts on a tough exterior or something when closer to me...so, I don't know what's on his mind.
Like Jenny said...act! If you want me, let me know...there are too many bozos out there to ponder over whether you're serious or not...
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RE: Waiting for the "come get me" signs? - 10/4/2008 6:14:18 PM
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willfs
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Yeah, if I really like her then I act (after she shows some sign). If I am unsure then I will usually hold back.
One reason I ask this question is because I know some girls pretend they don't like you much (even after they have developed a relationship) just to see how much you like them. I fear I will never find a girl (which I havn't in 33 years) that I like enough to go after even if she doesn't like me.
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RE: Waiting for the "come get me" signs? - 10/4/2008 6:59:46 PM
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Prairiehiker
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Will, women like men who can lead. If you're interested, then express an interest. Women that are interested will respond. The ones that are not, won't.
Honestly, I've heard it so many times from my female friends that men who shows leadership are "hot!". This is something we don't often see.
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RE: Waiting for the "come get me" signs? - 10/4/2008 10:10:23 PM
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seeking3132
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Maybe I'm not the best at giving advice, as I am single. But here is my two cents....I really believe that we are putting too much pressure on ourselves in this whole area. The Lord brings people in and out of our lives. I truly believe that it all starts with friendship. And if we approach everyone that we meet, everyone that shares our interests and we feel like we can connect with as a person, not a potential girlfriend/boyfriend, the pressure is gone. If treat each person as someone who you can just get to know and build a friendship with, God will work out the rest. God will lead the relationship where it needs to go. If she is the one He chose for you, it'll happen. If she is not, but is someone who will be a great friend, or even just a great woman that you share coffee with one day, it's all how He designed. No pressure! Should I do or say that? It doesn't matter! God is in control! 
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RE: Waiting for the "come get me" signs? - 10/4/2008 10:50:55 PM
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Focusing
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LOL - I wasn't very clear. I had a scenario in my mind and failed to relay that. I was referring to someone you already knew, perhaps from church or a group you belonged to, maybe after bike riding or a hike.
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RE: Waiting for the "come get me" signs? - 10/4/2008 11:18:18 PM
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seeking3132
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[[/quote]
But this begs the question: How much should we swim out to our ship if our ship hasn't come in? "Share a cup of coffee with" - doing something like this with someone is way outside my box of what I usually do with friends. It is something I want to do with someone I am interested in. This is more than me just letting things happen as I would any other friend but me actually wanting to get to know a person because I am interested in them.
[/quote]
Why should you do something different with someone you are "interested in" than you would your friends? Shouldn't your mate be your friend?
I think you are making it too complicated. Get to know everyone you share interests with and feel led to. Let God take care of the rest. He will. You don't need to treat the situation differently. You say it is different than you letting things happen as you would with any other friend. You need to "let things happen" or let God lead you in all relationships. The line between friends and "interested in" is thin and I don't think we really see it. It just happens.
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RE: Waiting for the "come get me" signs? - 10/5/2008 8:17:14 AM
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losgan
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I don't know what the "come get me" signs even are, so how would I know to give them?
If you are interested in her - why not just go for it? Why the security blanket, insurance policy, or backup net?
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RE: Waiting for the "come get me" signs? - 10/5/2008 11:44:29 AM
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willfs
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quote:
ORIGINAL: seeking3132
Why should you do something different with someone you are "interested in" than you would your friends? Shouldn't your mate be your friend?.
Meeting people as I meet friends,has not brought any one who I am interested in, atleast in over a decade. So I feel that if I want to meet a woman I am interested in I need to pursue chances to interact with her and then ask her to do something with me. None of my friendships have started because I saw that person then pursued times to talk with them and then asked them to go to coffee with me.
My grandmother is also my friend. However, our relationship is very different in actions and in purposes than the relationships with my friends. Its the same with those I am interested in. I want to be there friend (hopefully best friend one day) but the motives, desires, and purposes are different than normal friendships. So would it be surprising when the relationship begins differently?
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RE: Waiting for the "come get me" signs? - 10/5/2008 11:45:31 AM
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willfs
Posts: 316
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quote:
ORIGINAL: losgan
I don't know what the "come get me" signs even are, so how would I know to give them?
If you are interested in her - why not just go for it? Why the security blanket, insurance policy, or backup net?
Yeah, good point. I am still trying to figure out my severe lack of assertiveness and confidence. Have been for years.
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RE: Waiting for the "come get me" signs? - 10/5/2008 7:41:51 PM
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willfs
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Focusing
Will, confidence is a major plus in my book in a man ... but in my opinion, it does not equate to being a socially aggressive (assertive) person. It means having confidence in his walk with the Lord. He can be as quiet and humble as they get, he can be Mr. Shy, but the confidence he exudes through a sincere heart is what I really look for.
Thats comforting because it probably not every guy who can be the confident extrovert. However, any guy has the opportunity to develop the character and heart you are talking about.
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RE: Waiting for the "come get me" signs? - 10/6/2008 1:18:23 AM
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ebony101
Posts: 908
Joined: 4/1/2007
From: the big blue marble
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quote:
ORIGINAL:Jenny-Fair
but you should make conversation and give her some attention
I totally agree with this comment, take the time to make some kind of move, otherwise my interest will go towards the person who does.
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By the things that we do & the words that we say.'
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RE: Waiting for the "come get me" signs? - 10/9/2008 10:51:25 PM
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DrivenbyGod
Posts: 223
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quote:
Maybe I'm not the best at giving advice, as I am single. But here is my two cents....I really believe that we are putting too much pressure on ourselves in this whole area. The Lord brings people in and out of our lives. I truly believe that it all starts with friendship. And if we approach everyone that we meet, everyone that shares our interests and we feel like we can connect with as a person, not a potential girlfriend/boyfriend, the pressure is gone. If treat each person as someone who you can just get to know and build a friendship with, God will work out the rest. God will lead the relationship where it needs to go. If she is the one He chose for you, it'll happen. If she is not, but is someone who will be a great friend, or even just a great woman that you share coffee with one day, it's all how He designed. No pressure! Should I do or say that? It doesn't matter! God is in control!
This is a good point. I don't think relationships should be forced or difficult to get into. I've found the hardway that trying to force something when you think that she should be a great fit, because of maybe 1 or 2 things you have in common, on your list, or in your bonehead doesn't mean it's going to work or she'll feel the same way. It should be natural and easy, otherwise you might end up with the nagging wife described in proverbs... drip, drip. 
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RE: Waiting for the "come get me" signs? - 10/10/2008 12:05:44 AM
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captainfraulein
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Joined: 5/2/2005
From: Planet Earth
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It's little things that add up, a little phone call here, a little text there...facebook, myspace...add friend....are you on yahoo?
ask her things.
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"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." -Jim Elliot
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RE: Waiting for the "come get me" signs? - 10/10/2008 1:19:13 PM
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raivyne
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quote:
ORIGINAL: willfs
One reason I ask this question is because I know some girls pretend they don't like you much (even after they have developed a relationship) just to see how much you like them.
You don't want those girls. Trust me.
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RE: Waiting for the "come get me" signs? - 10/12/2008 5:20:40 PM
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creationtalk
Posts: 697
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quote:
I usually (always) only wait until a woman gives the "come get me" signals before I go after her. I will never go after a woman unless I think she has some interest. Now I might go after a "tester" conversation or something like that.
I was raised that a lady NEVER makes the first move. And I have had some experiences that have justified why that is best. So if you were interested in me, you would never see a "come get me" signal no matter how interested I might be.
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I know lots of other women who feel the same way. How will I ever know if I like you if I don't know anything about you??? 
to game playing.
"There are no accidents in the life of faith. In its music, the accidentals perfect the harmony." 
