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Ugh. - 8/15/2008 12:17:55 AM
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beachcooky
Posts: 893
Joined: 6/21/2008
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I have a problem. A few years ago, guys started liking me. I enjoyed it at first, but when I got really serious with God I just wanted them to stop.
I don't do anything to give them any ideas that I want to be pursued. They just do it. I keep quiet a lot because I dont know what to say.
For example, I met this guy at college. He's an athiest and I never ONCE gave him an idea that I liked him (because I never did...ever). And one day, he texted me if I wanted to have sex. It insults me that guys think I'm like that. I seriously never do ANYTHING to give them that idea. I got mad and I told him that he KNOWS that I'm not like that and he insults me by asking such a question. I'm about to cry right now, only because I don't know how to deal with guys doing these things to me over and over and over. I don't know how to make them respect me.
If you guys have any suggestions, that would be great.
Because I am seriously getting very sick of this. I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
I tell people that they need to stick up for themselves and I try my hardest to do that, but it seems like as hard as I do stick up for myself, the same guys dont get the hint and make comments like that guy from college did.
It hurts my feelings. Now I'm crying. I just want this to stop. Period. I want the guy that God planned for me to come. I don't know why this happens to me because I never, EVER do things to get this disrespect. Seriously. :/
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RE: Ugh. - 8/15/2008 12:26:10 AM
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nicole6598
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From: Australia
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I am sorry that you feel that way.
I guess when guys used to say silly things like that I would just ignore them, it wasn't worth getting upset over in my opinion, they are just being silly and immature. I think also because they don't seem to be Christian guys it can be a little worse, I don't know any Christian guys that would speak that way. I would maybe try just ignoring it and not taking it to heart, its not like you are the only girl they are probably saying inappropriate things to, guys can be immature and inappropriate at times.
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Proud Aussie, Wife, Mother, Woman!
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RE: Ugh. - 8/15/2008 7:25:51 AM
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csl7037
Posts: 1621
Joined: 3/24/2008
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Some guys are just stupid and I'd like to say they get better as they get older but some don't. My "pool guy" is about to drive me crazy with stupid comments and inuendo - he's even made a comment to dh who was just dumbfounded. This is a guy we know, we know his wife and kids (their best friends are our neighbors), his kids go to my kids' school and they go to church there (we go to a different one). It's a little pathetic.
You know what though, our youth minister (a very young guy who's only been out of college a few years) was using our house recently for a retreat for the HS boys in the church. He told the boys a very similar story to yours about a girl he worked with in college. I think partly, in your case, it's a "persecution" thing. He's probably just trying to get to you. Maybe next time tell him if he'll go to church with you for a month you'll think about it.
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RE: Ugh. - 8/15/2008 6:24:42 PM
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agapetos
Posts: 5387
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From: This side of the lil duck pond!
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quote:
It insults me that guys think I'm like that. You know something, he probably doesn't think that you are like that...
But a lot of guys would enjoy winding you up in an attempt to upset you ~ and he's done it.
I'd suggest you ignore him but I'd also suggest that if it continues you look into what the college can do to support you and stop him doing this to you or anyone else.
It's sexual harrassment.
quote:
Maybe next time tell him if he'll go to church with you for a month you'll think about it. I'd never suggest you say anything like this.
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Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not using them in fruit salads!
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RE: Ugh. - 8/15/2008 6:54:56 PM
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manda59
Posts: 5993
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From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: csl7037
Maybe next time tell him if he'll go to church with you for a month you'll think about it.
I am amazed that you should be advocating the OP leading this guy on over sex in return for going to church.
beachcooky, that would so not be a good idea.
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"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: Ugh. - 8/15/2008 6:58:54 PM
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manda59
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From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: beachcooky
For example, I met this guy at college. He's an athiest and I never ONCE gave him an idea that I liked him (because I never did...ever). And one day, he texted me if I wanted to have sex.
beachcooky
What this guy did was wrong, make no mistake about it.
However, how did he get your mobile number? Did you give it to him or did someone else?
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"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: Ugh. - 8/15/2008 10:05:01 PM
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beachcooky
Posts: 893
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quote:
beachcooky
What this guy did was wrong, make no mistake about it.
However, how did he get your mobile number? Did you give it to him or did someone else?
Hey. My friend was in the same class and he texted her to see my number. She gave me his number and I texted him. I didn't know him that well when I gave him my number, we were friends and everything. I never thought he would do something like this.
But he's not the only one. A bunch of guys are doing it and I don't know what to do about it. I really just want to get close to God before anything. I love God and I want to serve Him. And it's like, ugh. I just don't like it!
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www.myspace.com/xsweetheartforux
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RE: Ugh. - 8/15/2008 10:06:01 PM
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beachcooky
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quote:
Just take heart in knowing that there quality Christian men out there. They may be harder to find (especially on a college campus), but they do exist.
I really do hope so. I want to get married so bad and I want it to be a guy who's fully devoted to God and he will put Him before anyone else, including me. That's really my desire.
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www.myspace.com/xsweetheartforux
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RE: Ugh. - 8/16/2008 12:34:28 AM
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Mrs.X
Posts: 2929
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From: Newberg, OR
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Anytime a guys says something like this, say back in a dead serious tone, "I'm not like that, so you really need to stop saying things like that to me." Then you'll get a reputation, a reputation that demands respect.
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-Stina
From Sweet Grass to the Packin' House
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. -Proverbs 15:1
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RE: Ugh. - 8/17/2008 8:03:18 AM
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pumpkin
Posts: 1439
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does your cell phone allow you to block any numbers? If it does, and it may take some researching, you may want to consider blocking anyone who says such things to you.
I've never had anyone say anything like that to me. My one friend has though, and she could never figure out why they would say such things to her, and do things like open doors for me, and be very sweet to me. I never really could see it either, except that I simply won't put up with being treated poorly, not by anyone. I'm a little bit like Nicole in that respect. I don't care who it is that is saying things, I have the same exact reaction every time.... and I don't let them get away with the "little" things, and so I think they've never gone further than that, because they know what would happen.
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RE: Ugh. - 8/17/2008 2:17:39 PM
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beachcooky
Posts: 893
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quote:
does your cell phone allow you to block any numbers? If it does, and it may take some researching, you may want to consider blocking anyone who says such things to you.
Hey! I called Verizon (I'm Verizon, obviously. haha) and asked if there was a way to do it. He said there was, but I would have blocked all numbers. He said you couldn't block an individual number. Which is very frustrating. But he hasn't bothered me since I told him that what he said was NOT right. And I've spoken up when a lot of guys (friends) do those kind of things to me. It's getting very old and I just feel like I'm not respected enough by anyone.
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www.myspace.com/xsweetheartforux
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RE: Ugh. - 8/17/2008 2:24:21 PM
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agapetos
Posts: 5387
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: This side of the lil duck pond!
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quote:
And I've spoken up when a lot of guys (friends) do those kind of things to me. These guys are not your friends.
I suggest that you find real friends who respect you and stop asking you if you will have sex with them.
Perhaps you need to be finding some Christian friends who are equally serious about God to spend time with.
_____________________________
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not using them in fruit salads!
My blog
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RE: Ugh. - 8/17/2008 2:44:13 PM
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PrincessButtercup
Posts: 7444
Joined: 4/21/2007
From: not my home...
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Mrs.X
Anytime a guys says something like this, say back in a dead serious tone, "I'm not like that, so you really need to stop saying things like that to me." Then you'll get a reputation, a reputation that demands respect.
I was in a situation once where I did this exact thing. He had been making comments to me for a while and I would just ignore him and brush them off. But then he got waaay too close to me, and I said basically what Mrs.X said. I think I scared the boy, though, because I had him terrified and backed into a corner by the end of my stern, but curseless tirade. But he didn't even talk to me for a week, and never bothered me like that again. 
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I need you more than anyone, darlin'
You know that I have from the start
So build me up, Buttercup, don't break my heart...
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I feel sad knowing you are in tears over this. 
I guess some of them never grow up. 
