jhuperetes
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I was asked to put some of the presentations I make up here, so I culled the more salient points and post it. Since they are from multiple presentations, I will simply make it into bullets and each can be discussed in its own merit.
It will look disjointed as it is speaking notes, and there is much more to it than just the presentation. Most presentations are Q&A from start to end and last a couple of hours.
First, the Internet is a tool. Any fool who thinks the Internet is the devil and should be shunned needs some serious self examination. Unless you are Amish - and then you shouldn't be reading this anyway. 
Just like a hammer or knife can be used for good and bad, so can the Internet. The Internet is not the problem.
quote:
What has happened to us is a result of our evil deeds and our great guilt, and yet, our God, you have punished us less than our sins have deserved and have given us a remnant like this. Ezra 9:12 NIV
The general problems (besides us) are :
The Internet has no no borders. It does not stop at the door, or neighborhood, city, state, or even country.
No disrespect to law enforcement, but few of them are qualified to grasp the more technical details of the Internet.
Taking that a bit further, courts do not understand. I have met judges that not just could not tell the difference between a Mac & a Windows machine, but didn't even know they were different!
Unfortunately the law does not care, unless the district attorney needs exposure, or there is a large financial loss is involved.
Most parents are lost. Just as we cannot expect judges, law enforcement agents, and attorneys, we cannot expect parents to be experts in the ever changing Internet security arena.
Some stats: porn revenue in '06 $97.06 billion; $13 billion from US; 12% of all sites are porn sites; 79% of youth unwanted exposure to porn occurs at home; 20% is child porn; 80% of pedophile sites are commercial...
Child pornography is one of the fastest growing businesses online; 54% in US; child porn is a $5 billion annual industry; serial child molester may have 400 victims in his lifetime.
“It”-won’t-happen-to-my-child syndrome
No feelings. Feelings that you get online – are the ones I came up with reading the other person's writing!
Predators know exactly what they are doing and what they are looking for.
Most do not hide their age and gender. Predators seduce young people by being sympathetic, flattering, and by appealing to a young person’s desire to be appreciated, understood, be romantic, take risks, and learn more about sex.
Predators generally target teens who are willing to talk about sex online.
Those are the kids whom you didn’t talk about sex.
48% teens reports, parents know little or nothing what they do online
58% teens have profiles on a social networking site
25% teens have pictures online
14% teens met in person whom they met in chat room first
1 in 25 children 10-17 years old receive a sexual solicitation. (73.7 million < 18 in 2006 – about 28 million for 10 - 17)
1 in 4 (25% of 20% (5%)) of those children told parents and less then 10% told authorities (10% of 25% of 20% (0.5%)).
1 in 25 (4%) of children 10-17 have been asked to send a sexually explicit picture of themselves.
1 in 1500 of children will comply.
And that is just pornography...
False, inaccurate, misleading teachings, occult
Obscene language & inappropriate topics
Anti-Christian
Drugs, alcohol, tobacco, gambling, quick-money schemes, espionage, terrorists
Internet addiction
Pornography addiction
Privacy invasion, theft and robbery
Bullies, harassment, molestation, rape, kidnappings
Etc.
quote:
Woe to you who are complacent in Zion, and to you who feel secure on Mount Samaria, you notable men of the foremost nation, to whom the people of Israel come! Amos 6:1 NIV
There are two primary ways to protect our children - technology and parenting - each with filtering and monitoring as their subsets.
We can replace technology with parenting.
We cannot replace parenting with technology.
Both technology and parenting uses filtering and monitoring as their tools. Filtering is when we block what we allow or not allow.
Monitoring is taking notes, or recording what we are doing.
Like every other aspect of parenting, know what is going on in your home, and in your child’s life.
Filtering:
Software & Hardware
At the computer level
NetNanny, Covenant Eyes, SafeEyes, CyberPatrol, CYBERsitter, K9*, X3Watch*, etc.
At the ‘edge’ of your home network (at ‘modem’)
Open Source ( sometimes complex, but free) OpenDNS, DNSGuardian,
Commercial (Linksys, Barracuda, SonicWall)
At the Internet Service Provider
Verizon FiOS
Comcast Cable
Yahoo! Filtering
Google Safe Search
'Self' filtering
Agreement with child on what is and is not appropriate.
Ongoing dialog.
Monitoring
Filtering software with monitoring features
You
No cameras
No pictures of children or family members online
Limit usage
Length, time of day, type of sites
Keep the screen visible
No bedroom or basement screens
Know the Web sites
Know the chat rooms
Know the illegal activities
Talk to the children about the dangers
Young ones only in presence of adults
Review logs with children regularly
Look at YouTube and you will understand why you do not want to allow a video camera.
Pictures allow identification of location, and provide a menu of selection for predators.
Make rules and set limits for Internet use, and be firm with your child about keeping them. This refers to time of day, how much a week or day, and what sites in general are ok to visit.
Keep the computer in an area of the home where everyone can see it and it is used by the entire family. A child may be less likely to disobey the rules if he is likely to be caught.
Know the Web sites your child is visiting and what they are about—are they for play, music, or homework?
Is your child using chat rooms? This activity may not be a good idea, unless you know the topic and the people are who they say they are. Get involved yourself, and keep an eye on the discussion over time.
Animal sharing (neopets, horse, etc. sites) allow chatting.
Some popular online activity among youth may be illegal—like downloading music and movies. Make sure you are on top of the laws and that your child knows them, too.
Make children aware of the dangers of giving personal information on the Internet—this shouldn’t be allowed, except with your specific approval. This means no last name (first name if unique), where you live (not even the city), school, and especially no phone number should ever be given out.
Very young children must always have an adult or older sibling with them when using the computer. No exceptions.
Modus Operandi (of predators)
Choosing Target
no prototypical victim
Recruit
A child who feels unloved and unpopular will soak up adult attention like a sponge.
Forced teaming and charm – Establish rapport & to put at east, play, gifts, sympathy, “trust”, “respect”. Talks as relationship is already established.
Bonding
Introduce secrecy
Physical Contact
Sharing predator’s contact info with victim & NOT asking for personal info. Then collect info through scenario.
Make contact in person.
Abuse.
Some of the phrases I use are misleading, in a sense that if taken out of context, it implies that predators are doing something right. I want to make sure we are clear that this is not the case.
First predator tells a personal short coming of sort, often emotional. It will be something that fits well into the victim’s life, and often parallels. Second, from gifts or shared experiences are “secrets” and woven into “others would be jealous” or “not understand us”. Later down the path, it becomes fear based “I will expose you, or hurt your loved ones”.
The predator will ask for the personal information in an indirect way. First she will provide their own information as things go. They will wait for the victim to use that information. Then they will create a scenario where the victim feels obligated and “benefit” from sharing – for example, “need your address to send you your gift”.
Take away
Openly discuss with children the dangers
Explain the need for boundaries & hedges
Time limits
Filtering & monitoring
Install filtering and monitoring tools & routinely review them
Know your child’s interests & suggest sites
Review tool reports with child
Know your child’s friends and caretakers
Make unannounced visits
I am not a child psychologist, so this is a layman’s experience – I have much better luck when I set the borders and clearly explain the consequences.
Remember, better to keep them close and watch them what they do, then deny them all. Children will find places to do what they want.
Having all the software installed means nothing if the logs are not review with the child so you can discuss what is and is not appropriate.
Teachers, sitters, friends and their parents, and similar - make unannounced visits and verify them.
quote:
November 2007 – Barna Research
Millions of Christian parents want to appear to be relevant in their children’s eyes, and to provide gifts that fit within the mainstream of postmodern society," Barna noted. "The problem is that many of the entertainment products that meet those criteria conflict with the moral precepts of the Christian faith. Parents have to make a choice as to what is more important: pleasing their kids’ taste and sensibilities, or satisfying God’s standards as defined in the Bible. When the decision made is to keep their children happy, the Christian parent is often left with a pit in their stomach…
If it’s in your home
Contact your minister and ask about the spiritual consequences, and help
Contact your counselor and ask about emotional impact, and help
Encourage & find support groups for family member(s) who are suffering
Find support groups for you
Encourage or find accountability partner
Not just our children, not just boys, but adults can, and do succumb.
Top 10 Ways to get into trouble
- Letting curiosity entice your child to surf gambling, porn, or other bad websites
- Opening messages from unknown senders
- Opening email attachments from unknown senders
- Installing unknown and unverified programs
- Disabling automated security tools
- Giving out passwords to anyone
- Random surfing of unknown or untrusted Websites
- Attaching to an unknown, untrustworthy WiFi network
- Filling out Web scripts, forms, or registration pages
- Participating in chat rooms or social networking sites
- Not asking "What would you like to discuss, but afraid to ask?"
< Message edited by jhuperetes -- 11/4/2009 12:37:43 PM >
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