|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
Login  | |
|
Renewing a friendship? - 11/5/2008 1:05:30 AM
|
|
|
cbutterfly618
Posts: 1
Joined: 11/4/2008
Status: offline
|
I think I should say that this friend I am talking about here described me as her "best friend". Recently, this friendship hit a hard spot. Well not really recently. At the beginning of the year my friend hurt me deeply. We moved on from there but by the beginning of summer our relationship fell apart. As I saw it falling apart I was clear to her that I would be willing to continue the friendship. Since that time she has had limited contact with me. I put it that way because at the end she seemed not to want to have anything to do with me - an observation I shared with her. I wanted to respect her space and her wants as far as our friendship was concerned. So in the past 5-6 months she has emailed me only once or twice. I would, of course respond to her emails in, what I thought was, a polite and welcoming manner. But there would not be continued connection.
Last week things changed! She emailed twice in one week! Then she logged onto an instant messager she hasn't used in the last ... probably 8 months! Before, we would chat a lot on that messenger, but hadn't in all that time. The interesting part is that I realized that her timing happened to coincide with an upcoming visit by a mutal acquiantance. The acquiantance will be staying with my family. My friend's initial email last week, fell exactly one month from the acquaintance's arrival.
Now, if she had made connect with me well before - a couple of months ago - or the day following the visit I would not have questioned a thing. But now I am cautious. I wonder what her true motivation is in making contact. Is she interested in renewing our friendship or am I just a means for her to see the acquiantance?
So I wonder how to proceed. Initially, upon hearing from her I was happy, but after happening upon the timing issue I have held back some. I am praying but I don't know that my flesh is removed enough from this situation for me to be sure I am hearing GOD.
How would you proceed? What scripture can you refer that might lead me in the direction God would have me to proceed?
Thanks,
Wondering 
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Renewing a friendship? - 11/5/2008 2:23:09 AM
|
|
|
jaimestarcross
Posts: 765
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline
|
I would take things one step at a time.
With both of you having a mutual acquaintance in common,
I wouldn't be sitting around worrying over whether she's
"playing" nice so she can hang out with the mutual friend.
I would naturally assume that if a mutual friend was visiting... others who
are friends with her would want to visit/spend time with the mutual friend too!
I think it'd be considerate not to put the mutual friend in the "hot seat"
aka don't pressure her to avoid the other person that you're at odds with.
the scripture verse that states a friend loves at all times would be
appropriate one to use in this matter.
After that would be the ones that relate to living in peace and not stirring
up strife would fit... And to forgive those who hurt us.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Renewing a friendship? - 11/5/2008 11:21:19 AM
|
|
|
pbaribeault
Posts: 1104
Joined: 4/29/2005
Status: offline
|
I'm not clear on why it would really matter if you are right about the co-incidental timing of her contacting you. Is it really a problem that the friend's visit gave her that little extra nudge that told her she had been cool long enough?
This happens all the time in families & friendships -- mother & son are at odds, both go to cousins wedding and realize that their animosity has faded. There was a lot of anger between siblings, but Christmas letters sent half-willingly begin to restore the connection. A friendship at work becomes strained when one is promoted above another, but a critical project has them working closely again and they patch things up...
Why is there something impure about life's circumstances prompting her to make an effort towards you again? Why are you not interested in restoration of this relationship, if only because it might have taken a little extra nudge to get the ball rolling after hard times.
Or are you thinking that she is completely un-genuine about this, faking it for her own good and probably going to drop you like a hot rock after the visit? Remember her through your friendship and ask yourself if that's the kind of person she is.
BTW, have you forgiven, from the heart, whatever she did that hurt you in the first place? Have you thought through how your reaction in that situation might have had an effect on the relationship between you? Have repairs been made?
|
|
|
|
 New Messages |
 No New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/ New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/o New Messages |
 Locked w/ New Messages |
 Locked w/o New Messages |
|
 Post New Thread
Reply to Message
Post New Poll
Submit Vote
Delete My Own Post
Delete My Own Thread
Rate Posts |
|
|
Forum Tools
Printable Version
