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Relationship Blues.... - 10/28/2008 7:01:24 AM
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Kooks
Posts: 8
Joined: 3/25/2008
Status: offline
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Hi,
Ok I slipped up and went slightly further then I meant to with my boyfriend. That I have acepted is my own fault for not sticking more securely to my own values. But the problem is now my boyfriend thinks that I have suddenly changed and that it will become a regular occurence. I have tried to explain to him that it won't be and that it wasn't mean to happen but he still doesn't quite understand. Does anyone have any ideas on how to explain it to him so that he DOES understand?
Thank you
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RE: Relationship Blues.... - 10/28/2008 8:49:29 AM
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DeeAnnBailey
Posts: 2625
Joined: 3/23/2006
From: SC
Status: online
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It is probably more he doesn't want to understand because what he has now is what he wants. You didn't mention how he felt about your values before, was he in agreement or were these just your values.
If he doesn't agree with your values all that will happen is he will continue to pressure you. That is why the Bible speaks against being unequally yoked. We are all human and even good Christian couples can make mistakes but if both share the same values both will try to restore their relationship to what it should be.
_____________________________
D. Ann Bailey
My Blog Dee's Delights and Delusions
<<<<<<The love of my life - precious Erin!
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RE: Relationship Blues.... - 10/28/2008 9:45:11 AM
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Szaftoo
Posts: 793
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: So. Calif.
Status: offline
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It takes two to "slip up" and your boyfriend needs to take responsibility for his part instead of questioning your compromise. You don't need to explain anything to him, you need to take care of your actions.
Once a couple have been together, it gets easier. Don't be alone where things can get started. Be with people or out in public.
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RE: Relationship Blues.... - 10/28/2008 10:45:09 AM
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supernova1976
Posts: 67
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline
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Yeah! totally! it takes two! he obviously must have not been complaining at the time now was he? he is being a total hypocrite! lol
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RE: Relationship Blues.... - 10/28/2008 11:06:29 AM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 4480
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: upstate NY
Status: offline
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Kooks - what are your values? i am guessing because you are posting on a Christian message board you are wanting to abstain from pre-marital sex and possibly behaviors that can lead to it. is your boyfriend a Christian? do you know what the Bible says about believers marrying non-believers? the marriage board has many posts from women (and men) who ended up doing such a thing because they became too attached to an unsaved boyfriend (or girlfriend) and now regret it a ton. i think a couple people described it as a 'living hell'. i'm not saying break up with your boyfriend, but i think an examination of the relationship is needed much more than any safeguards ...
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RE: Relationship Blues.... - 10/28/2008 2:24:46 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1938
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: offline
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You didn't put a gun to your bf's head, and he wasn't in a comatose state when you slipped - he's as guilty as you are. If he isn't admitting it, then he doesn't want God's ways as much as he wants his own way. Not a good candidate for family, where morals dictate how people act when no one is looking or on-lookers are helpless little kids.
If he thinks he's hit the free sex jackpot, you'll want to seriously reconsider if you want this freeloader in your life at all. Personally, I'd explain what he's doing in comparison to God's Word (look up fornication in the link in my sig line - God is seriously against it), and if he doesn't respond in remorse to God's Word, I'd kick him to the curb fast.
Everyone slips; this one just has bigger consequences than losing your keys. God calls us to confess (say it's sin), repent (quit doing it) and thank Him for His forgiveness and walk on in a righteous lifestyle. Sex is for marriage. The acts leading up to intercourse are sex, too, and 1 Cor. 7:1,2 says it's not good for a man to touch a woman. If you want God's good, stop doing what God says isn't good.
You've gotten lots of good advice on this thread. We can do things God's way and get good consequences in our lives (like love, peace, etc.) or do things our own way and find it's half a bridge over the Grand Canyon. Don't let this guy tempt you away from God, because continuing in this behavor (which you indicate you don't want to) would make you deny God to excuse what you are doing. The consequences are huge. I think you'll do it right! God bless you, and I'm praying for you today. (((Hugs)))
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Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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