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Needing the male perspective... - 7/25/2008 12:18:47 PM
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passionate218
Posts: 4
Joined: 5/28/2005
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*I posted this under the "relationships" forum as well...
I've been having an ongoing discussion with some friends of mine (male and female) concerning the male perspective on love and the expression of physical affection.
A friend of mine was trying to explain to her boyfriend at the time (they have since married) about how she did not want to kiss him until he knew for sure that he loved her. In her opinion it was illogical for her to give her heart away to a man that had not reached a conclusion on how he felt about her.
He did not get her point...haha...
I've tried to have the same type of conversation with my guy. There is a clear disconnect in his understanding of what I am trying to say. Because he feels that a kiss is an expression of how deeply he feels...even if it falls short of him professing his love, he doesn't see the problem.
After talking to several friends, it seems that the varying perspective on the issue is split right down the middle according to gender.
I would love any input on this! Anyone want to weigh in?
-Passionate
_____________________________
"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." ~Jim Elliot~
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RE: Needing the male perspective... - 7/25/2008 2:46:08 PM
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freakofnature
Posts: 739
Joined: 1/17/2008
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My initial thought is that if he cares for you any kind of way, he will respect your wishes to keep the physical aspects of a relationship to a minimum until the conclusion is drawn on his commitment to the relationship. On the other hand some guys see kissing as harmless fodder and mindless affection and doesn't cause or reflect on much deep emmotion.
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RE: Needing the male perspective... - 7/25/2008 4:15:22 PM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 2990
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: upstate NY
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: passionate218
A friend of mine was trying to explain to her boyfriend at the time (they have since married) about how she did not want to kiss him until he knew for sure that he loved her. In her opinion it was illogical for her to give her heart away to a man that had not reached a conclusion on how he felt about her.
He did not get her point...haha...
I've tried to have the same type of conversation with my guy. There is a clear disconnect in his understanding of what I am trying to say. Because he feels that a kiss is an expression of how deeply he feels...even if it falls short of him professing his love, he doesn't see the problem.
After talking to several friends, it seems that the varying perspective on the issue is split right down the middle according to gender.
I would love any input on this! Anyone want to weigh in?
-Passionate
i think the guys do get the point and understand your position but to them kissing is something something more akin to a recreational activity like going to the movies rather than something deeper that you feel it is. i'm not saying either party is right or wrong, but it seems to me, you've made your opinion clear and it doesn't matter if he gets it, cause that's how it's going to be. of course saying 'i love you' is only words so then you probably have to feel he loves you too. he could replace the word "kiss" in his statement with other more involved activities if he really wanted to: Because he feels that a KISS is an expression of how deeply he feels.
maybe it's split because i imagine it's a real powerful way for a female to guage a man's interest and intentions.
_____________________________
[Low-Carb] Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheesecake
Photoblogging my life
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RE: Needing the male perspective... - 7/25/2008 4:24:42 PM
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Kath
Posts: 16578
Joined: 2/28/2005
Status: online
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Thanks for starting your thread. However, to post the same thread in more than one area is considered spam and a violation of our Terms of Service, so this thread is closed. Please join us in the other thread HERE
Sincerely
Kath
Please do not comment on this action in the community or send me a PM about it. If you have questions, comments or concerns please email Fritz at community@salemwebnetwork.com allowing time for a reply. Thanks!
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