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RE: Managing Long-Distance Friendships - 8/7/2008 12:12:28 AM
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smilingcutie
Posts: 42
Joined: 8/6/2008
Status: offline
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I have a few friends that live far away from me, but it's really not that hard to keep the friendship alive. Talking on the phone and online really helps a lot. Also, whenever possible we try to visit each other. We send each other photos to look through and tell each other about our lives. The website LordsMessage.com really helps us stay in contact with each other and plus, I've actually met even more people from that site. :)
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RE: Managing Long-Distance Friendships - 8/7/2008 1:12:44 PM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 771
Joined: 11/28/2005
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I've found regardless of distance - both parties involved
have to be committed to communicating regularly and visiting.
For example: I moved to Canada in 2002 from NC - my friends/family
all live in NC(within a 10 mile radius of me) when I lived there. I made efforts to visit and talk with friends and family.... however, many of them (family/friends) put forth little effort to maintaining the friendship/family ties... I knew if I moved
away communication would cease because they'd make no effort to keep the
friendship alive... it's been six years and no effort has been made on their part yet.
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RE: Managing Long-Distance Friendships - 8/8/2008 3:48:45 PM
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GregandJenny
Posts: 362
Joined: 2/16/2006
From: Near Seattle Washington
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realistic expectations. The friend that lives down the street is going to probably converse more with me than my good friend in Japan. If I expect my friend from Japan to talk to me every day or even every week and with my work schedule and his, and I get upset because we can't I am being UNREALISTIC. I have to know the right balance. I have to put forth decent effort and make it a priority to keep him in the loop. He knows that I am not gonna come to Japan to visit him because the plane ride it way to long, but when he comes here we hang out.
G
_____________________________
The Will of God never takes you to where the Grace of God will not protect you
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RE: Managing Long-Distance Friendships - 8/8/2008 5:46:39 PM
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lovestowrite
Posts: 2
Joined: 8/2/2008
From: Canada
Status: offline
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I have quite a few long distance friends and I have to agree with what others have said, both parties do have to be committed. For a long time I was the one making all of the contact and it just got old. Even to do that for a friend you simply adore gets to be too much. So both parties have to be interested. And it will be less frequent contact, but it's always nice to have something to look forward to.
For the friends who don't keep in touch with me much, but I still care for them, I e-mail them a little note every few months just to let them know I am thinking of them.
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RE: Managing Long-Distance Friendships - 8/8/2008 7:46:44 PM
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beachcooky
Posts: 654
Joined: 6/21/2008
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Well--I met this guy who seriously changed my life and we became best friends. But he moved to Michigan (I live in NY). And I was crushed. I knew I would never meet someone like that again and God hasn't provided me with a friend like that again. The majority of my friends that I have, I don't have that special click like the one I had shared with Andrew.
Unfortunately, we lost all contact. And it hurts, but I'm trying to accept it. :)
_____________________________
www.myspace.com/xsweetheartforux
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RE: Managing Long-Distance Friendships - 8/10/2008 12:34:50 AM
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FunBetty
Posts: 5212
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Dr Pepper Country
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jaimestarcross
I've found regardless of distance - both parties involved
have to be committed to communicating regularly and visiting.
Agreed. I've moved across the country a few times <sigh> and I know that I can't always keep in touch with everyone. However, facebook has become my newest best friend because I can still see what is going on w/ friends.
And the friends I keep, I make a constant effort to keep in contact with. You can't wait for them to maintain the friendship, especially if you are the one that happens to leave. You have to make the conscious effort to email, call, etc. And make the emails personalized (not mass update emails).
It CAN be done, but when it doesn't, realize that sometimes life just moves on. Seasons change, and people change. But the friends that stick around will be there for life.
_____________________________
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RE: Managing Long-Distance Friendships - 8/11/2008 8:45:50 AM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 2970
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: upstate NY
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: FunBetty
And make the emails personalized (not mass update emails).
yes! one good personalized email is worth way more than a dozen forwarded little joke/urband legend/cool picture emails. i mean if you two did that before, that's one thing, but just forwarding on emails you get or a generic email, don't really go that far i don't think. we have it so easy with email versus having to find stamps and go to post office.
_____________________________
[Low-Carb] Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheesecake
Photoblogging my life
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RE: Managing Long-Distance Friendships - 8/12/2008 3:50:04 AM
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solomonsprayer
Posts: 216
Joined: 8/1/2008
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevil
quote:
ORIGINAL: FunBetty
And make the emails personalized (not mass update emails).
yes! one good personalized email is worth way more than a dozen forwarded little joke/urband legend/cool picture emails. i mean if you two did that before, that's one thing, but just forwarding on emails you get or a generic email, don't really go that far i don't think. we have it so easy with email versus having to find stamps and go to post office.
Quite true. ...At least for me, I absolutely hate mass emails with a forwarded joke/story/advertisement/game, etc. as a substitute for real communication. I do not mind getting updates that are important and understandably done in a mass way (such as an address and moving change), but if these are the only communications I have with someone over the course of a few years, then it does feel like a lost friendship in some ways.
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RE: Managing Long-Distance Friendships - 8/12/2008 4:35:41 AM
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ebony101
Posts: 749
Joined: 4/1/2007
From: the big blue marble
Status: offline
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For all relationships to be successful, you must work at it and friendship is no different. Regardless of the distance between you two. I have friends who live a good distance from me and we always arrange to meet at least once a year. Fortunately technology is in our favour, because now there's emails and cell phones which enable people to keep in touch. And I think that's the most important thing - to keep in touch. Whether you meet once a year or once a decade is irrelevant.
It's always good to open an email or receive a letter from a friend. Once you stop working at maintaining it, the friendship will fade away.
_____________________________
'We're writing a gospel, a chapter each day,
By the things that we do & the words that we say.'
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