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Immoral CEO - 11/4/2009 11:46:24 PM
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Redjasper
Posts: 340
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I was wondering how everyone was doing on here, I haven't been on for a while getting busy finding work and studying. I have been trying to find work for months, thank God my husband has a good job so I'm not particularly under pressure but have increasingly found that the more I'm out of work (been going on for years on and off due to my bipolar disorder), the more difficult I find to be able to get back on track and lead a normal life.
I started working for some company that I have known before and for whom both my husband and I had done contract work. The CEO is a well-known business woman in the area who is currently struggling to keep the company going. As I'm looking into a new career and just finished with my studies I offered to help her out free of charge, so that she gets help and it would be beneficial to me too to get some practice. I thought she was happy to see me as I wrote my thesis about her and her company two years ago. She read it and liked it and told me that she can use a few of my ideas so I was happy that she was happy.
So I went along and showed up for my first day. The trouble began in the first hour, she told me to be there by 8.30am and every day, whereas she came in after 10am, and I never had anything to do, so I was just sitting there trying to occupy myself with self-study. When she comes in she starts gossiping and telling me every little detail of her sex life, menstruation, her diet, the doctors, and bad things about other people and her workers. Some of the complaints are legitimate though but I don't feel it's my business to discuss these things with her. I was there for two weeks but during that time I virtually had nothing to do, no work at all, just sitting there and listening to her private things ALL DAY LONG. She usually talks on the top of her voice with her office door open so the whole crew can listen to her every word. And I had to sit next to her and listen to all of this. From day one she had been preoccupied with my overweight and talked me into this diet of hers, I thought it was a good idea so I went along. Because she had done good to us in the past I thought I can live with the rest of her personality stuff and just look at the fact that she gave a job to my husband when we were in need and didn't make a buck on it (outsourced). I'm not particularly delighted when people analyze my looks in front of everybody but I put it down to experience and her outspoken nature so I tried not to get upset but I have to admit that after a couple of days it was beginning to bother me. She started telling me dirty jokes and I noticed that the more I tried to keep my composure the more she was pushing. She clearly found it amusing. Push-me-pull-you. My husband told me the other day she gets drunk at company parties, a few years ago she was trying to rape one of her workers in the car park. Why didn't he tell me this earlier? No way I would have gone there but I guess he was just happy for me to have a chance of getting back to normal.
The last straw was today. She asked me yesterday if I had any certain feminine products with me, she had luck I gave her some, she made a note that they were too big.  . Today she came in of course much later than I did so I finally got company at 10.30am, and didn't have to sit around idle. (I asked her a couple of times if she thought there was a need for me to be there at all because I didn't get any work to do), she insisted that I should be there. One of her technician guys was with us in her office trying to synchronize her handheld while she was telling me that my big (product) lasted forever last night, she goes through 10-12 a day and "i told my husband.. hey C..., this is bigger than you).... "what brand is yours"?all while men were around and this guy was with us in the room. I stared at the guy showing her with my eyes that I didn't want to talk about this but that was more oil to the fire. This is a CEO! I felt sinking and decided that I can't take her emotional abuse any more, packed up my stuff and left. I didn't get the chance to say bye to anyone because I was afraid I would break down in tears in front of them. I don't want to discuss private matters at work, I was taught to remain professional no matter what and don't know how to explain that to the others.
I'm very sad and disappointed. She left me with no work and depression about the whole situation. I have to learn from this and listen to the guidance of that small voice that I may have ignored. I was depressed to begin with but never in my dreams I thought this endeavor would turn out like this. But I don't see clearly what my lesson is from this, and can't decide how much of it is my bipolar and how much I should be able to take, do or say regarding that I don't have a grasp on reality of my feelings 100%.
How do you handle situations like this? I mean, I had a choice to walk away, but what if, like most people can't do it right away when they get their new job? What if you HAVE TO deal with it? How do you get on with people like her? Why do I attract people like her into my life? And what can I do about it?
Comments are welcome.
God Bless
< Message edited by Redjasper -- 11/4/2009 11:53:28 PM >
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RE: Immoral CEO - 11/5/2009 12:56:02 PM
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Redjasper
Posts: 340
Status: offline
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Ta, thank you for offering your perspective. It's possible that I stayed too long, it threw me off track from preparing for my other seasonal job, now I have a lot of catching up to do. I'll just put it down to experience (I've never seen anything like this before). Now I'm not even sure there is an answer to my question, how to deal with this kind of work situation.
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RE: Immoral CEO - 11/5/2009 1:08:50 PM
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agapetos
Posts: 9718
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: This side of the lil duck pond!
Status: offline
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I think you stayed too long too. She was wrong to do what she did. I wonder if you have ever thought about doing any sort of assertiveness training? It can be really hard to know how to stand up to someone so that may well help you figure out what to say/do. I suspect she'd have behaved differently if you'd stood up to her from the get go and she was just enjoying her situation.
If you ever do any voluntary work again, remember that you are probably doing them the bigger favour. You do not have to show up for work when they tell you to, but you can reach an agreeable compromise on it ~ and then do as you agreed (as opposed to doing as you were told).
_____________________________
Stovie, Stovie, what am I going to do with you!
Maggie
September 09
My blog
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