|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
Login  | |
|
How do you show your respect and honor for your man? - 10/27/2008 11:08:20 AM
|
|
|
ChelaW
Posts: 154
Joined: 7/30/2008
Status: offline
|
This is a bit of a spinoff from my post on the He Says board, but now I'd like to get advice from the ladies!
I'm in a relationship with a wonderful Christian man...I know God has truly blessed me!!
He and I talk often about our needs, and he says (I've read this in Christian dating & marriage books, too) that most of all, he needs to feel respected by me. That's quite a bit different than what I need to feel from him...which is more romantic love.
My question is: since men's needs are so different than women's, how do you speak his language and show him your respect for him? Right now I cook for him often (he LOVES that!), support him in his career dreams & ambitions, tell him and others how proud I am of him for saving $ to open his own business, etc. But what else conveys respect to a man?
I'm at a disadvantage because I didn't grow up with a father, uncle, brother or any other male figure, so I don't intuitively understand the differences between men & women. I was also raised by a single mother, so I've never even seen what a Christian marriage looks like! Any suggestions you can offer would be greatly appreciated!!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How do you show your respect and honor for your man? - 10/27/2008 12:39:03 PM
|
|
|
Sideways
Posts: 3932
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: online
|
Well, I don't speak for the rest of women kind, but I need to feel respect from my husband, too. Flowers are pretty, and candy tastes good, but I can take 'em or leave 'em.
We show respect for each other by carefully listening to each other's opinions and really trying hear what the other person has to say, instead of what we want to hear. We show respect for each other by trying to put the other person first, and considering what would make them happy and fulfilled. We show respect by deferring to the other person in their particular areas of expertise.
We aren't perfect by any stretch, and there are days when we don't show each other much respect, and those are the bad days. But all the "I love you"s and sugary sweet romantic gestures don't amount to a hill of beans if I feel I don't have the respect of my husband.
So, I don't know who started that "men need respect and women need romance" stuff, but it sure doesn't apply to us. My hubby likes romance, too, actually. He likes it when I tell him how good he looks; he probably enjoys date nights more then I do. And while he loves sex, he also enjoys hugs and kisses and cuddling. And he's very much a man, if you know what I mean.
So, there goes that notion.
_____________________________
This warranty does not include shark bites, bear attacks and children under five.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How do you show your respect and honor for your man? - 10/27/2008 2:25:03 PM
|
|
|
debarbarac
Posts: 11
Joined: 5/23/2008
Status: offline
|
I think one thing that is good to do, among all the other things mentioned, is to thank him. When he takes out the trash, make sure you thank him, if he cooks, mows the lawn, fixes a piece of furniture, anything. Make sure you tell him. Also, watch what he does. Often the things that we do are the things we need. So, check out the things he does for you and others in terms of respect.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How do you show your respect and honor for your man? - 10/27/2008 2:44:31 PM
|
|
|
Sideways
Posts: 3932
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: online
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: debarbarac
I think one thing that is good to do, among all the other things mentioned, is to thank him.
That's something else that both of us appreciate, to be thanked by the other for all the hard work we do. Very good point.
_____________________________
This warranty does not include shark bites, bear attacks and children under five.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How do you show your respect and honor for your man? - 10/27/2008 7:11:52 PM
|
|
|
3tulips
Posts: 325
Joined: 2/1/2007
From: sandy shore
Status: offline
|
I try never, ever to argue with him in public (or in front of the kids). Not critizing him either. If I have something to say, I wait until we are home and in our room. And a lot of times it was not a big deal because I had forgotten what I was going to say.
_____________________________
I opened up the mouth of love and found the wisdom tooth. Larry Norman 1947 - 2008
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How do you show your respect and honor for your man? - 10/27/2008 9:03:08 PM
|
|
|
debarbarac
Posts: 11
Joined: 5/23/2008
Status: offline
|
quote:
I try never, ever to argue with him in public (or in front of the kids). Not critizing him either. If I have something to say, I wait until we are home and in our room.
I agree. I think this is a big thing. I did this once without even realizing it. It really hurt my husband. So, yes! Definitely be aware of this! :)
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How do you show your respect and honor for your man? - 10/28/2008 12:33:16 PM
|
|
|
ChelaW
Posts: 154
Joined: 7/30/2008
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2
quote:
My question is: since men's needs are so different than women's, how do you speak his language and show him your respect for him?
first, I think it is very different when you are talking about your husband vs just your boyfriend...so the things you see in marriage books I don't think are that good to follow too closely when you are not married yet.
Good point, but other than the obvious (like pleasing him physically, if you know what I mean), what other things should a girlfriend not do that a wife should? I suppose any sort of submission is probably inappropriate at this time, but what else specifically?
Thanks!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How do you show your respect and honor for your man? - 10/28/2008 12:51:17 PM
|
|
|
Sideways
Posts: 3932
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: online
|
When you're married your husband takes priority over your parents and other family. When you're dating/courting your family still comes first.
Absolutely you should not submit to a boyfriend/beau. Ask for his advice on matter, but then consider if this is what you would feel comfortable following if you were his wife. If you don't feel total trust and faith in following his advice on certain matters, then I'd reconsider the relationship.
Of course, my husband and I don't have a strict Patriarchal marriage. He's the head of the family, but I have a lot of autonomy in many matters, and we don't make a major decision unless both of us are in agreement.
If he is the kind of man that would pick up and move to a different part of the country and expect you to follow (whether or not you agree with the move), then you've got to decide for yourself if you're comfortable with that sort of headship. No one here can make that call for you.
_____________________________
This warranty does not include shark bites, bear attacks and children under five.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How do you show your respect and honor for your man? - 10/29/2008 1:06:58 PM
|
|
|
meg4
Posts: 182
Joined: 4/21/2005
From: North Georgia
Status: offline
|
This book has a lot of good ways to respect a man, but it is geared toward the husband-wife relationship, not boyfriend-girlfriend. But it does give a lot of insight into the nature of men in general.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How do you show your respect and honor for your man? - 10/29/2008 2:56:00 PM
|
|
|
doinkdom
Posts: 4316
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The higher lowcountry
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Sideways
So, I don't know who started that "men need respect and women need romance" stuff, but it sure doesn't apply to us. My hubby likes romance, too, actually. He likes it when I tell him how good he looks; he probably enjoys date nights more then I do. And while he loves sex, he also enjoys hugs and kisses and cuddling. And he's very much a man, if you know what I mean.
So, there goes that notion.
Husbands, love your wives. Wives, respect your husbands.
Doesn't mean that it doesn't go both ways or that we are limited.
I don't interrupt my spouse, especially to correct anything he is saying to someone. I also remember that he has many godly men around him and it's not always my job to keep him "in check" when they can do a much better job than me. Nothing more annoying to me than a women correcting her spouse while he's telling a story, etc.
I never bash him or generalize and I find it difficult to participate in a conversation when it goes down that road...and it usually does in a most unflattering way. 
I am in his corner...no matter what. If I disagree and it's not a "thou shalt not" issue, then we discuss it in private and become unified one way or another.
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
 New Messages |
 No New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/ New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/o New Messages |
 Locked w/ New Messages |
 Locked w/o New Messages |
|
 Post New Thread
Reply to Message
Post New Poll
Submit Vote
Delete My Own Post
Delete My Own Thread
Rate Posts |
|
|
Forum Tools
Printable Version
PRAISE THE LORD -- MY HUSBAND IS BACK FROM IRAQ 
