Do men look at a woman's left hand to see if she's single?
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Do men look at a woman's left hand to see if she's single? - 10/31/2009 11:10:23 PM
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teacher1982
Posts: 190
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When I'm out and see a nice looking man who is by himself, the first thing I do is check out his left hand, third finger. Of course I am aware that not all married men wear wedding rings, but if a man DOES have one on, I do not look again.
So I'm wondering men - if you see an attractive woman, do you check out her left hand before approaching her?
And how do you feel if she has on a different type of ring on her left hand, third finger such as a birthstone or pearl - a ring that is obviously not a wedding band?
Just wondering because my daughters tell me that my birthstone ring might mistakenly give a man the impression that I am married and that I shouldn't wear any rings on that finger.
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RE: Do men look at a woman's left hand to see if she's ... - 10/31/2009 11:30:32 PM
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mrtigger
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quote:
ORIGINAL: teacher1982
And how do you feel if she has on a different type of ring on her left hand, third finger such as a birthstone or pearl - a ring that is obviously not a wedding band?
Just wondering because my daughters tell me that my birthstone ring might mistakenly give a man the impression that I am married and that I shouldn't wear any rings on that finger.
I'm married so I don't check out women that way but if I was single & looking, I would assume any ring on that finger indicated the woman was married.
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RE: Do men look at a woman's left hand to see if she's ... - 11/1/2009 8:57:30 AM
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teacher1982
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Thanks for the links. I read them and have decided that I need to stop wearing my huge birthstone ring on my life hand, third finger although the stone is a Blue Topaz and really big. I thought it was obviously not a wedding band and no one would ever consider it to be, but reading what the men say, I think that any ring could indicate that I was either married or in a committed relationship or not interested. However, if I have no ring on whatsoever, it would at least say I'm not married or engaged (unless I was being dishonest by really being married and trying to hide the fact).
So as much as I love my birthstone ring, off it goes. I have a Mother's ring on my right hand that has all stones of my children and grandchildren. Surely no man would think it's a Jewish wedding band (since they wear their wedding rings on their right hand. But I wouldn't be interested in a Jewish man anyway since I am a Christian).
Again, thanks for the links. That pretty much answers my question.
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RE: Do men look at a woman's left hand to see if she's ... - 11/1/2009 5:08:00 PM
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ajlewis
Posts: 117
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From: State of Confusion
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I'll generally look. It may not be the first thing I notice. What bothers me are women who are married but don't wear a ring.
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RE: Do men look at a woman's left hand to see if she's ... - 11/1/2009 8:44:18 PM
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jhuperetes
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Always.
Ditto to ajlewis.
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RE: Do men look at a woman's left hand to see if she's ... - 11/1/2009 8:48:08 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 16550
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From: Just Outside of Boston
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I do look to see if an attractive woman is wearing a wedding ring or not.
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RE: Do men look at a woman's left hand to see if she's ... - 11/1/2009 9:44:01 PM
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jn1010lf
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Hello teacher1982
I always look to see if a woman has a wedding band. It just seems like a natural thing to do. I let it govern the content of my conversation if we are in a place where it's expected.
Wedding bands can be a trap, if a man isn't careful. There are may unfulled women that wear wedding bands. In that case, I realize the need of limiting conversation of any kind.
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RE: Do men look at a woman's left hand to see if she's ... - 11/2/2009 3:32:11 AM
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rockominal
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I happen to know this girl who wears what looks like nothing else but an engagement ring on her left hand ring finger. I don't know why she wears it there since she isn't engaged or even close to it. No boyfriends that close, that she speaks of at all. I don't know why she wears it and I've never asked.
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I might tell you the truth, or something pretty close to it. Jesus says, "I Am the Truth."
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RE: Do men look at a woman's left hand to see if she's ... - 11/2/2009 11:26:47 PM
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dnp200450
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rockominal
I happen to know this girl who wears what looks like nothing else but an engagement ring on her left hand ring finger. I don't know why she wears it there since she isn't engaged or even close to it. No boyfriends that close, that she speaks of at all. I don't know why she wears it and I've never asked.
Over the years I have known several unattached women that wear an engagement ring on their left hand ring finger. They have told me the reason why is so men will not hit on them. If a man, in the rare instance does approach them, all they do is lift their arm, flash the ring and say something to the effect of, "look, I am not interested, OK?!"
Once they change environments that can remove it and put on the birthstone ring. That covers any ring-tan lines they may have. What percentage of women wear fake engagement rings? I don't know because leaking the fact that the ring is fake would defeat the purpose in having one. I find it is mainly professional college educated women and/or women in a male dominated company who does this. Some even have fake pictures of their "fiance". The technique seems to be very effective.
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RE: Do men look at a woman's left hand to see if she's ... - 11/3/2009 8:39:08 AM
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broyce1981
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Yes, I will look if a woman is attractive to me.
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RE: Do men look at a woman's left hand to see if she's ... - 11/3/2009 12:30:23 PM
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trainfan
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If she is attractive to me I will usually look and ditto the other poster about married women not wearing rings.
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Disappoints are inevitable, discouragment is a choice.
Dr. Charles Stanley.
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RE: Do men look at a woman's left hand to see if she's ... - 11/3/2009 12:39:19 PM
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shilo45318
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It does seem to be a good place to start
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RE: Do men look at a woman's left hand to see if she's ... - 11/3/2009 8:30:03 PM
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dnp200450
Posts: 397
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rockominal
I happen to know this girl who wears what looks like nothing else but an engagement ring on her left hand ring finger. I don't know why she wears it there since she isn't engaged or even close to it. No boyfriends that close, that she speaks of at all. I don't know why she wears it and I've never asked.
You mean to tell me none of the rest of you have heard of the practice of wearing the fake engagement ring to keep men away? Have some of you done that in the past or present?
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RE: Do men look at a woman's left hand to see if she's ... - 11/4/2009 5:48:59 AM
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rockominal
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I forgot to answer the question. If you are seriously wanting to meet whomever this guy is, don't waste time looking at the guy's finger/s. You just try to give off some type of available vibe first. It's really not all that difficult. Just don't act like these stuck up chicks referenced here:
quote:
ORIGINAL: dnp200450
Over the years I have known several unattached women that wear an engagement ring on their left hand ring finger. They have told me the reason why is so men will not hit on them. If a man, in the rare instance does approach them, all they do is lift their arm, flash the ring and say something to the effect of, "look, I am not interested, OK?!"
I'm sure you don't act like that, right?
_____________________________
I might tell you the truth, or something pretty close to it. Jesus says, "I Am the Truth."
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RE: Do men look at a woman's left hand to see if she's ... - 11/4/2009 10:04:50 AM
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dnp200450
Posts: 397
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quote:
I forgot to answer the question. If you are seriously wanting to meet whomever this guy is, don't waste time looking at the guy's finger/s. You just try to give off some type of available vibe first. It's really not all that difficult. Just don't act like these stuck up chicks referenced here:
The women I refer to had well defined boundaries. They did not want any workplace flirting directed at them. Also by wearing the ring other women did not see them as a threat. This cut back on jealously and made for a more efficient workplace.
It goes the other way too. I know men that wear "fake" wedding bands when they are assigned to work in certain countries. For obvious reasons.
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RE: Do men look at a woman's left hand to see if she's ... - 11/4/2009 11:40:54 AM
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Enoch195
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I would definitely say I do though some women wear a ring even when
they are not married.
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RE: Do men look at a woman's left hand to see if she's ... - 11/4/2009 12:58:00 PM
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dnp200450
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One of the ladies I knew had a really expensive looking "fake" ring. Fake because:
1) She was not married nor had a boyfriend.
2) The expensive looking very ring used CZs not real diamonds?
She said the more expensive the ring looked the less likely the guys would try to hit on her.
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RE: Do men look at a woman's left hand to see if she's ... - 11/4/2009 4:20:17 PM
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uncabeeil
Posts: 4938
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To not look is living more dangerously than I'm comfortable with. Husbands tend to frown on guys trying to hit on their wives.
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"It don't do to fight with God cuz He always wins.
He bloodies your nose and then gives you a ride home on his bike"
Rich Mullins
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RE: Do men look at a woman's left hand to see if she's ... - 11/4/2009 6:48:35 PM
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Gigem08
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Absolutely! If I see a girl I think is attractive, that's the first thing I look for. Not very many girls where I am wear other rings on that finger other than engagement/wedding rings but I have seen a few and it does somewhat throw me off a little bit. If I saw this girl at church, I might ask a question that's a little less obvious than "Are you single?" but still, it really is somewhat confusing.
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I only ask that you be real...
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(Please call me Jonathan, THANKS!)
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RE: Do men look at a woman's left hand to see if she's ... - 11/5/2009 2:36:52 AM
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_Don_
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quote:
ORIGINAL: dnp200450
The women I refer to had well defined boundaries. They did not want any workplace flirting directed at them. Also by wearing the ring other women did not see them as a threat. This cut back on jealously and made for a more efficient workplace.
It's cool they have well defined boundaries...however, I personally think wearing a ring to give the impression I am not available is deceitful--no matter the workplace interpersonal or efficiency benefits. I think there are other, maybe not so efficient but less deceitful, ways of solving their workplace problems that would be better overall.
quote:
It goes the other way too. I know men that wear "fake" wedding bands when they are assigned to work in certain countries.
Yes, it does go the other way too and I don't think it is any less deceitful. I've been a man in certain countries too and still don't wear a ring (or the local "I'm not available" equivalent (if one is available to men)) to indicate that I'm taken when I am not.
quote:
For obvious reasons.
Such as?
I think if someone is going to choose some reason to be deceitful it should at least save one life and not be some expedient way to increase productivity.
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Fry
I can't wait 'till I'm old enough to feel ways about stuff.
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RE: Do men look at a woman's left hand to see if she's ... - 11/12/2009 12:33:16 PM
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dnp200450
Posts: 397
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quote:
ORIGINAL: _Don_
It's cool they have well defined boundaries...however, I personally think wearing a ring to give the impression I am not available is deceitful--no matter the workplace interpersonal or efficiency benefits. I think there are other, maybe not so efficient but less deceitful, ways of solving their workplace problems that would be better overall.
Yes, it does go the other way too and I don't think it is any less deceitful. I've been a man in certain countries too and still don't wear a ring (or the local "I'm not available" equivalent (if one is available to men)) to indicate that I'm taken when I am not.
I think if someone is going to choose some reason to be deceitful it should at least save one life and not be some expedient way to increase productivity.
It is not deceitful because the person wearing the ring is saying they are not available, period. The reason why is not important. The point is that they are not available. Think of the clothing a priest or nun wears. It too says not available. I don't think anyone would accuse them of being deceitful for projecting an image like that even though they are not married.
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RE: Do men look at a woman's left hand to see if she's ... - 11/13/2009 4:28:49 AM
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_Don_
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quote:
ORIGINAL: dnp200450
It is not deceitful because the person wearing the ring is saying they are not available, period. The reason why is not important. The point is that they are not available.
I think the reason a person is not available when wearing an engagement or wedding ring is important. My understanding is that an engagement or wedding ring on the appropriate finger signals unavailability not just because the person wearing the ring happens to feel that way at the moment (for whatever reason) but because he or she is in a committed relationship. If someone is wearing an engagement or wedding ring and is not in the appropriate committed relationship then that is deceptive. I would hate to think that traditions are changing and the rings' meanings are being debased to not available & moresore not available. If so, I think this is a great loss and a shame.
quote:
ORIGINAL: dnp200450
Think of the clothing a priest or nun wears. It too says not available. I don't think anyone would accuse them of being deceitful for projecting an image like that even though they are not married.
Not sure I understand your example... Here too I think the reason for the image of unavailability is important. Priests and nuns are in a committed relationship and hence are not available. While their clothes are typically designed to communicate more than just "unavailable for marriage" that is a portion of the message that is intended for (and, indeed, understood by) those that see it. No one would accuse a woman wearing a habit of being available for marriage and deceitful if she's a nun; However, if she isn't a nun and is simply wearing the habit to appear unavailable then she is being deceitful.
Those wishing to appear unavailable should consider that as the habit is a powerful symbol of unavailability wearing it along with an engagement or wedding ring would send a particularly strong and clear signal of unavailability.
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Fry
I can't wait 'till I'm old enough to feel ways about stuff.
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RE: Do men look at a woman's left hand to see if she's ... - 11/13/2009 10:19:06 AM
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dnp200450
Posts: 397
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Don,
I understand where you are coming from. Just this week there was an article about women who where PURITY RINGS. The author was saying that the rings were causing a great deal of confusion. Many of the women who wrote in felt otherwise. I do not have the experience of being a woman so I am not qualified to offer a real opinion on the subject. After reading what some of them wrote in the comments section of the article I can understand them more. Here are some samples. The article can be found at:
http://www.boundlessline.org/2009/11/purity-ring-fakeout-episode-95.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+boundlessline%2Fblog+%28Boundless+Line%29
…I've had several extremely unwanted advances by men in airports and rarely travel without one on my ring finger anymore. (It's utterly unnecessary to touch my leg or tell me about sexual exploits). Do any others of you do this as well?...
…I wear the ring for a reason, to keep creepy men away - although that doesn't always work…
…I know women who buy cheap cz fake engagements if they bartend or work in a restaurant. They have found it easier if guys who come in think they are taken. And if that were the case, I would totally do it too!...
…YES! I travel almost every week for work and I wear rings on BOTH ring fingers to avoid said situations. If there is an unwanted approach I can point to it and say 'unavailable' and if there is a potential interest I can easily slip it off :)…
… "Oh no, I just wear this ring so men don't bother me….
< Message edited by dnp200450 -- 11/13/2009 10:33:27 AM >
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