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Children and Pocket Money - 7/28/2008 11:51:01 PM
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nicole6598
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I have a question about pocket money (allowance)
Do you give your children pocket money?
What age did you begin?
Did they receive the money after doing certain jobs or did they just get money?
When do you teach them about tithing?
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RE: Children and Pocket Money - 7/29/2008 7:25:04 AM
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3cappuccinosmom
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We are still working out the allowance thing. Asrat is very young, so every month we go over what we do with money (tithe, save, spend) and he gets about .50. If he offers to do to an extra chore for me, I "pay" him.  We have three empty baby food jars that are labeled, and when he gets his pennies, I sit down with him and show him how to separate out 10% for tithe and save.
I think it's good to start young, with very small amounts. At this point there's not much ds can really buy, but he was able to take about $1.20 when we went to some yard sales, and learned about how you can't have something if you don't have enough money to buy it, and that once you buy something and the money is gone, you can't buy anything else, even if you really, really want it. 
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RE: Children and Pocket Money - 7/29/2008 2:11:18 PM
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IonMoon
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We have chores that everyone has just because they are part of the household. No one gets paid for those. We each also get an allowance just for being a part of the family (right now dd16 gets $10/week). I think that started when they were 5 or 6 (but much less! like $1/week)...
We have always encouraged saving, giving, wise spending, etc. but that money is THEIRS and they can do whatever they want with it.
We also have a small savings account for each of them which they will get once they are settling down as adults that we contribute to weekly.
Sometimes we will offer them extra money on a per project basis to do something above & beyond (ie dd is expected to do her own laundry, but sometimes I will pay her a few dollars to do a load of MY laundry).
Tara P
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RE: Children and Pocket Money - 7/29/2008 2:22:01 PM
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Auben
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Similar here.
They have chores but they aren't tied to allowance.
They can ask to do extra chores for money and if mom or dad has something we can negotiate a deal.
We have allowance every 2 weeks when my husband gets paid.
It's a good chance to learn about percentages and saving. We give a quarter from every dollar (25%) to savings and a dime from every dollar (10%) to church and charity.
Around Christmas and mid-summer we will open up the bank and spend half (I don't force them to buy gifts for their brothers but it is encouraged as a way to make the time fun) and put the other half in a bank account.
We start @ age 2 or whenever the younger ones notice and can hold on to money. I don't think we started until my older two were @5.
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RE: Children and Pocket Money - 7/29/2008 6:56:28 PM
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nicole6598
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Thanks, yes I don't feel comfortable paying for chores because like Sarah said, as a family everyone has to help out. But I think if she did something extra that she wasn't asked to do I could possibly give her something then.
I am not sure how much to start with. She is understanding money though, and likes to buy "treats" at the shop. I want to teach her to give though.
Sarah could you tithe to a local charity perhaps?
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RE: Children and Pocket Money - 7/29/2008 7:44:13 PM
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mommyplus3
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we don't pay for chores...we look at it this way
as an adult, you are paid for your "job" - and household responsibilities are necessary, but no one gets paid. so...for our kids (9, 11, and 13) - they are paid an allowance of $10/week for their "job," which is going t school and completing their work with a good atitude. just sems more real-world to us...
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RE: Children and Pocket Money - 7/29/2008 8:13:30 PM
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Sideways
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quote:
ORIGINAL: nicole6598
Sarah could you tithe to a local charity perhaps?
My parents often do this. After all, the church isn't the only organization doing God's work.
My parents did not give pocket money at all. Bro and I did get money from babysitting and lawn mowing. We did have mandatory savings, but not mandatory tithing. dH agrees with this. He thinks if you force tithing, then it isn't really a gift at all, and "God loves a cheerful giver." He says we can encourage tithing and talk about why we tithe, but not force it.
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RE: Children and Pocket Money - 7/29/2008 9:12:54 PM
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nicole6598
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Hmm Ruth that's interesting about mandatory tithings. I guess if you teach your kids how cool it is to give then they will want to do it and you wouldn't have to force it?
So when Nathan and new bub are old enough, will you make them put aside a figure to tithe as an example and then let them carry on or you will just say "Nathan it would be a blessing to give 20 cents in the tithes at church" and leave it up to him?
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RE: Children and Pocket Money - 7/29/2008 9:21:42 PM
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Sideways
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Greg is big time in favor of pocket money, not tied to chores specifically, but that pocket money can be taken away as a punishment. I wasn't raised with pocket money, but I can get behind the idea. Especially since it teaches the idea that you have so much and when you spend it - the money is gone and you can't just bug mom and dad like and endless ATM.
I would be in favor of mandatory tithing, but if Greg is still against it, for doctrinal reasons, then I am inclined to follow his spiritual leadership. I do believe in mandatory savings, especially if they get a "real job", because while we are saving for our kids college educations, we will expect them to contribute in a monetary fashion.
As far as giving to God, we'll be talking to them early and often about the 3 means of giving our church teaches: Time, Talent and Treasure. Hopefully we'll be leading by example, although we aren't doing much of that now.  (We do give money, but we aren't volunteering that much lately.)
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RE: Children and Pocket Money - 7/29/2008 9:43:02 PM
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manda59
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Our children did/do certain chores as being part of the family, and got "credits" for chores over and above those, which were marked on the calendar, and which they could collect at the end of each week. Credits could be lost, or given to ther sibling, and bonus credits could be added. They were not given money just for the sake of it, except for birthdays, Christmas and holidays. Neither have ever just come up and asked for money, but if they need extra cash they ask if there are any extra jobs that need doing.
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RE: Children and Pocket Money - 7/29/2008 9:53:02 PM
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creationtalk
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quote:
ORIGINAL: nicole6598
Do you give your children pocket money?
Yes
quote:
What age did you begin?
Age 3. I looked at the major areas of conflict between my son and I...and "Mommy I want..." was one of the top 3. The solution was giving him his own money and helping him be a wise steward--he had a specific savings goal, so when he said "Mommy I want..." the answer was either: "you don't have enough money for that" or "you have enough money for that; do you want it more than [his goal]?" No arguement.
quote:
Did they receive the money after doing certain jobs or did they just get money?
The allowance is tied to attitude and behavior plus certain chores. He as other chores not tied to allowance, and he gets paid extra for extra things.
quote:
When do you teach them about tithing?
From the beginning. At first it was simply that God wants us to give some of the money that we get to help others--we can give it to the church or someone in need. Sweetheart that he is, he sometimes gave me most of his allowance money to help pay bills (I put it in his savings). He has saved money to send to an orphanage, and given money to friends to help them as well as given money at his AWANA (church) program and in the offering at church.
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RE: Children and Pocket Money - 7/29/2008 11:36:49 PM
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nicole6598
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So for those who pay for certain chores, is that above and beyond a base rate allowance?
Ruth I like that "time, talent, and treasure". Very nice
Manda what do you mean about credits being given to a sibling? How did that work? Wouldn't that cause friction between them?
Creationtalk- if your child misbehaved badly during the week would they get anything or a reduced amount? I would think when children are young they need consequences right away and saying "well you didn't behave mon and tuesday so you don't get any money" wouldn't seem right to the child and may cause problems. So when you gave them the money did you talk about their behaviour and how their money reflected that?
I guess I just don't want my children to behave because they will get paid. In life we don't always get good things when we do the right thing, that's life. So I don't want my children to think that way. Ugh. Its hard to know how to make that decision on how you give it and what you say to them.
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RE: Children and Pocket Money - 7/30/2008 6:50:24 PM
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nicole6598
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Mommy- I think that's a good idea too and will discuss it with hubby. But i agree about not being paid for housework, we all have to contribute.
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RE: Children and Pocket Money - 8/1/2008 10:47:37 AM
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creationtalk
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quote:
Creationtalk- if your child misbehaved badly during the week would they get anything or a reduced amount? I would think when children are young they need consequences right away and saying "well you didn't behave mon and tuesday so you don't get any money" wouldn't seem right to the child and may cause problems. So when you gave them the money did you talk about their behaviour and how their money reflected that?
There were immediate consequences for misbehavior. Only a small portion of his allowance was linked to behavior. It usually had to do with church...since he got his allowance after church, the money he would get for behavior was sitting on the pew between us. he could play or draw quietly in the seat or floor right next to the pew...if he was too loud or otherwise, I would get his attention, and pickup a coin and put it in my purse. The denomination of the coin was linked to how severe I thought his disruption was. funny thing...He kept very careful watch over those coins and made sure that he never lost them all...
Plus, we had a chart on the refrigerator each week with chores and behavior for each day. We would together decide if he fully completed a chore or if his misbehavor was bad enough that he should get an X instead of a check mark...and if he got a star or circle for the day. at the end of the week he would look at the chart and tell me how much of his allowance he thought he deserved...
It wasn't a perfect solution, but it did help. I'm a single parent. I have a very difficult/stressful job. I come home mentally wrung out. I didn't/don't have the energy to deal with problems with him. However, I refuse to be one of those parents who lets a child get away with anything because they don't want to take the time to teach the child the right way or to correct the child's deliberate misbehavior. So I came up with several things that worked and cut down on conflicts. My methods are continually evolving...it used to be he got a limited number of "video certificates" for TV/Computer time/games each day. Now he has to earn these by reading some. Reading is the area he struggles the most, so this cuts down on our arguments about him doing his reading (homeschool)...if he wants TV or computer, he finishes the reading (and other stuff...but it's only the reading we really struggle with).
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RE: Children and Pocket Money - 8/1/2008 12:19:16 PM
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1love1God1way
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The only "pocket money" I had was the lunch money that I didn't use up.
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RE: Children and Pocket Money - 8/1/2008 10:12:27 PM
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nicole6598
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creation- I hope you didn't think I was picking on your parenting, I was just wanting to know how it worked for you and your son :) Thanks for sharing.
I liked what you said about evolving, we do have to keep doing that as a parent don't we?
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RE: Children and Pocket Money - 8/2/2008 3:41:55 PM
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twoboys
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My son turned 6 not long ago and ALWAYS wants something. We told him if he fed the dog everyday he'd receive $1 at the end of the week. Well, the job doesn't usually get done....everyday that is...
maybe he's to young? Not sure what else to do.
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RE: Children and Pocket Money - 8/4/2008 9:42:36 AM
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creationtalk
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quote:
My son turned 6 not long ago and ALWAYS wants something. We told him if he fed the dog everyday he'd receive $1 at the end of the week. Well, the job doesn't usually get done....everyday that is...
maybe he's to young? Not sure what else to do.
Do you remind him to feed the dog? At 6 he is certainly not too young to have chores--and feeding the dog is certainly reasonable (my son had many more "chores" than that)--however, I would say that he is too young to be expected to always remember to do this on his own. Even teens need to be reminded of chorse...I sometimes need to be reminded of chores (unfortunately, that usually means it doesn't get done since I don't have anyone to remind me). I will ask my son if he has done XYZ--if he has, I affirm him, if he hasn't the question is a reminder.
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RE: Children and Pocket Money - 8/4/2008 10:42:09 AM
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peculiar_lady2
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quote:
ORIGINAL: creationtalk
quote:
My son turned 6 not long ago and ALWAYS wants something. We told him if he fed the dog everyday he'd receive $1 at the end of the week. Well, the job doesn't usually get done....everyday that is...
maybe he's to young? Not sure what else to do.
Do you remind him to feed the dog? At 6 he is certainly not too young to have chores--and feeding the dog is certainly reasonable (my son had many more "chores" than that)--however, I would say that he is too young to be expected to always remember to do this on his own. Even teens need to be reminded of chorse...I sometimes need to be reminded of chores (unfortunately, that usually means it doesn't get done since I don't have anyone to remind me). I will ask my son if he has done XYZ--if he has, I affirm him, if he hasn't the question is a reminder.
I agree.
Also...do you schedule your child's day in such a way that they get into a routine? That is the best way to teach them to do something every day...schedule it in every day. For instance...oral hygeine isn't an option, you tell your child when to brush their teeth every day, and eventually they figure out that before bed or before school (or whatever other times you schedule it in) they have to do that.
With our house, the kids aren't allowed to eat themselves if the cats have not been fed. Starting out, I had to remind them...but eventually they got it that when I say time to eat breakfast, they need to make sure the cats are fed first.
6yo is definitely too young to expect them to remember that all the time though...our soon to be 9yo still needs reminding at times to feed the cats.
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"To punish the child is to take revenge because you're irritated or whatever...to discipline is to teach the child."~~OneOfHisJewels
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RE: Children and Pocket Money - 8/5/2008 12:51:55 AM
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monicaleap
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I think my husband and I came up with a good system. We started when our oldest was 6 and started with $1.00 a week. We increase it $1.00 on every birthday. It was broken up 80% Spending Money, 10% Savings Money and 10% Tythe Money. She had 3 little boxes on her dresser that I had labeled "Spending Money" "Savings" "Tythe". That was 9 years and 2 additional children later and we've kept it up. Our oldest is 15 and making $10.00 a week. It doesn't sound like a lot but she has spending $ for sodas and stuff and we don't have to continually hand out money. The savings is used for parents/siblings birthdays and Christmas gifts and the tythes are collected by me once a month, put into envelopes with their names on them and they get to put them into the offering.
Hope this helps. It's worked great for us.
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